You ever scroll through LinkedIn and feel like everyone suddenly runs a seven-figure ad agency? Same. There’s this explosion of ‘growth hackers’ and ‘client acquisition specialists’ pushing posts like: 

“We helped this random business go from $0 to $380K in 43 days using one simple funnel.” 

Sounds amazing, right? But what exactly does that mean? What funnel? What offer? Were they already sitting on a massive email list? Of course, those details are conveniently missing. I’m not here to knock every marketer who shares wins or promotes their service. That’s part of the game. In fact, that is actually part of how to become successful in this industry. But this guru industrial complex on LinkedIn? It’s getting out of control. 

So, let’s talk about why you really shouldn’t trust every “marketing expert” on LinkedIn. 

1. Everyone’s a Genius When There’s No Accountability

You’ll see the same formula over and over: 

• Screenshot of a data dashboard 

• Caption with “$82,347 in 30 days” 

• Vague mention of “funnel tweaks”  

• Zero proof, context, or really any useful information 

LinkedIn doesn’t exactly have a peer-review process, so these posts rack up likes from people who don’t know any better (or who are hoping to run the same playbook themselves). The real kicker? A lot of these folks just learned what a lookalike audience is six months ago. Now they’re talking about “scaling brands” and “engineering acquisition ecosystems.” 

Granted you must start somewhere, but there is a big difference between learning some buzzwords versus understanding how they fit into an actual marketing strategy. 

2. It’s All Sizzle, No Steak

Let’s break down the signs of a LinkedIn “expert” who’s full of it: 

• Wild claims, no context: “Scaled to $250K in 6 weeks.” From what? $240K? And was that revenue or profit? 

• Funnel jargon overdose: If their value prop includes the words “omnichannel,” “automated,” and “plug-and-play” in one sentence, you’re not hiring a strategist—you’re buying a buzzword salad. 

• Same formula, different niche: Somehow, the same exact process that worked for a dentist is now being offered to a SaaS startup. Amazing. 

• Urgency traps: “Only 1 onboarding slot left this month!” 

It’s all crafted to feel like you’re missing out if you don’t book a call immediately. They can most likely create and run a campaign for you, but if you think you are getting some secret bargain with an all-knowing expert, then you may be disappointed. 

3. Good Businesses Get Burned All the Time

This is the part that bugs me the most. Because it’s not just harmless fluff, there are real consequences here. 

I’ve heard it time and time again, a small business owner hands over thousands to someone who sounded legit on LinkedIn. The results? 

• Campaigns with no structure. 
• Audiences that weren’t segmented. 
• Offers that didn’t convert because they were shoved into a template. 

And then the “guru” skips town, or worse, blames the business owner for not having a strong enough brand, even though they were the ones hired to do exactly that. 

The truth is that a lot of businesses don’t need a guru. They need a partner. Someone who will actually sit down, look at the numbers, understand the business model, and collaborate. You don’t get that from a DM that starts with “Hey Jake 👋 I noticed you’re in marketing too…” 

4. What Real Marketers Actually Look Like

Okay, so who should you listen to? Honestly, the good ones aren’t always the loudest. But they’re out there. 

Look for people who: 

• Teach without selling. You read their stuff and learn something, no pitch attached. 

• Admit when stuff flopped. No one bats a thousand. If someone says they’ve never had a bad campaign, either they’re lying or they’re not doing real work. 

• Talk like a human. You don’t need a TED Talk every time someone mentions Facebook ads. 

• Care about context. They ask about your margins, audience, goals, not just “what’s your desired ROAS?” 

Also, real marketers say “it depends” a lot. Because that’s the truth. It does depend. On your offer. Your funnel. Your niche. Your seasonality. Your ability to fulfill if things go well. 

Marketing isn’t a vending machine. It’s an experiment. Good marketers don’t sell outcomes: they sell processes, insight, and iteration. They draw on what they know to make sure their clients are in the best possible position from day one without promising results that aren’t realistic. 

5. Before You Hire Anyone, Do This

If you’re evaluating someone you found on LinkedIn, here’s a quick gut check: 

• Ask to see real results. Not screenshots but full breakdowns. What the ad said, how it was tested, what the audience was. Establish where the client started and where they ended up. 

• Look for nuance. If they promise results in 30 days, that’s a red flag. If they say, “let’s test it,” you’re in better hands. 

• Talk to past clients. Not just the ones they list in case studies. Ask for references and look for any reviews you can find online. 
• Have a real conversation. If they don’t ask questions about your goals, product, or current numbers, you’re not a client. You’re a slot in a sales funnel. 

Final Word: Less Flash, More Function 

Not everyone on LinkedIn is full of it. There are some brilliant, generous marketers sharing tips and tricks that are actually beneficial. But the volume of overconfident, under-qualified gurus right now is overwhelmingly loud. 

So, don’t fall for the screenshots, the bro-energy reels, or the “client acquisition secrets” offered in exchange for a three-letter DM. Look for substance. Ask better questions. And trust your gut, especially when someone’s trying to sell you shortcuts. 

If you’re looking for guidance on your media strategy, reach out to us today!